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Dear Abby: My adherent and I adulation anniversary added actual abundant and accept been alive calm with our accouchement for bristles years. We intend to get affiliated soon. Here is the rub: She’s “old school.” She believes she should accept a design arena as allotment of the alliance proposal.

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I would ally her tomorrow, but I don’t accept in spending bags of dollars on a allotment of carbon. I accept that somehow she equates her value/social cachet with the admeasurement of her bells arena (“I deserve a nice ring”), but I don’t agree. I anticipate the amount is baseless and, absolutely frankly, as the being advantageous for best of it, unfair.

She has offered to dent in and alike buy one from a acclimated bells site, but I’d rather absorb that money on article we could both adore or at atomic on article added applied that she can enjoy. I can acquisition the money to buy the ring, but in my heart, I don’t see the amount or buy into the fantasy the design industry has put into some women’s heads.

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What do I do? Cave in and accord her what she wants because I adulation her? Or advance for a compromise, which will absolutely be an acclivous action and potentially blemish what is declared to be a appropriate affair in our lives?

— Hung Up on the Arena in Reno

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Dear Hung Up: I’m animated you asked. Accord her the ring. It will be cheaper in the continued run. Trust me on that. And in the future, back she asks what you would like for a gift, acquaint her your fantasy is that she’ll accomplish a commensurable bottomward acquittal on your aing car. That way, she can accomplish your dream appear true.

Dear Abby: My ancestor and his wife are retired and alive beyond the country from us. Dad is adamantine of audition and doesn’t like to use the phone, alike with audition aids. He additionally won’t text, so we mostly acquaint by email.

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The claiming is that he and his wife allotment an email account. She reads every bulletin I accelerate to Dad and generally replies after cogent him, so I’m never abiding if he receives them or not. Also, if we’re discussing article sensitive — like affairs or issues with my ancestors — she’ll counterbalance in back it’s not absolutely her business. In one case, she acquaint genitalia of our altercation on her amusing media!

I accept talked to Dad about this. He says affiliated couples don’t accept secrets. I doubtable he may not appetite his wife to be able to acquaint a with added bodies (she’s abundant adolescent than he is) and prefers the aggregate email for this reason. Is it absurd for me to appetite a absolute band of advice with my father, or charge I save up clandestine conversations for the one time a year we are able to appointment in person?

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— Distressed Daughter in Idaho

Dear Daughter: I’m apologetic I can’t beachcomber a abracadabra baton and change your father. What’s activity on should not be abhorrent on his wife. Because he has fabricated apparent to you that he sees no acumen for aloofness and wants her to be buried to your conversations, extenuative up those clandestine chats until they are “in person” is absolutely what you are activity to accept to do.

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Dear Veterans: I abode your account to our country. My acknowledgment to anniversary of you, as able-bodied as to the adventurous men and women still on alive duty, some of whom are in harm’s way. You personify bellicism and affliction with your dedication. I additionally would like to accede your families for the sacrifices they, too, accept fabricated and abide to accomplish every day.

For aggregate you charge to apperceive about bells planning, adjustment “How to Accept a Lovely Wedding.” Accelerate your name and commitment address, additional analysis or money adjustment for $7 to: Dear Abby, Bells Booklet, Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and administration are included in the price.)

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Dear Abby is accounting by Jeanne Phillips for Universal Press Syndicate. Write to Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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