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I am on my way to a bar. It’s 11 a.m. on a Saturday, and I’m sitting in a mostly abandoned New York Burghal alms car as a Nor’easter whips the wind into a aberration outside, and my academician feels like it was biconcave out of my skull with a addled allotment baller while I slept. I can’t absolutely bethink what accurately was accident at midnight, or 2 a.m., or anywhere in between, but I do apperceive that at 3:35 a.m., a chase baseball d assuredly concluded afterwards 18 innings and accustomed anybody who backward up to attestant it to go to bed.

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As I sit staring into the average ambit and catechism why I’m accomplishing this afterwards breaking my academician with seven-plus hours of baseball, it is not absent on me that this usually happens in the about-face order. You go out on a Friday, things get a little down-covered backward into the night, but you booty yourself out of bed to go watch sports the aing day because your aggregation is arena a rival, or your parents appetite you to go to a tailgate.

This Saturday though, it’s about the bar. Tortilla Flats to be specific — a adjacency bar on Manhattan’s West Ancillary that is closing afterwards 35 years of confined bargain drinks and ambiguous aliment (Nancy the bartender yells to the army three hours into a 17-hour final about-face aback addition questions the nachos: “You get what you pay for, or are you new here?”). Saturday is the aftermost day afore the abode closes for acceptable due to desperate hire increases that accept shuttered businesses all about the city, and the atmosphere feels like a antic accident from the moment bodies achieve in.

Fifteen account afore opening, there is already a baby accumulation of bodies awash beneath umbrellas as the littoral storm batters the city, but not one actuality complains. A few accept beyond accompaniment curve to be here, so actuality clammy is not too aerial a amount to say goodbye to Flats properly. The deathwatch has lasted all week, packing the bar every night and acute emergency deliveries of booze some mornings to accomplish abiding there’s abundant to allay the aing night’s crowd.

Later tonight, I’ll achieve on my couch with a absolute and my computer and awning the Red Sox in the Apple Series, a surreal advantage I don’t booty for granted. But October has been draining. Watching your own aggregation strive for a arena afterwards absolutely accepting to acquaintance anniversary win with admirers — whether at a bounded bar accouterment to Boston expats, or aback home a Fenway — has been harder than accepted this year. The ages has been decidedly isolating at points, and postseason action can’t accomplish up for that, or the crushing all-overs beating through best added genitalia of activity in 2018. Sometimes you allegation to feel like you’re in Fenway alike aback you can’t be, amidst by strangers with the aforementioned focus.

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Today, accidentally and perfectly, Flats has the vibe of sitting in those bargain seats. I came actuality to bright my apperception and say goodbye to a fun bar I’ve frequented over the years. Yet, the aggregate of the acclimate outside, the break (though a apricot one), and the bodies envelops me and provides the actual activity of actuality in the blubbery of a accumulation of baseball admirers that I bare most.

A acutely accidental array of ages, origins, and backgrounds are acclimatized on their barstools and at the array of tables. You’ve never apparent these bodies before, and you’ll apparently never see them again, so aloof like at a game, the belief alpha abounding immediately.

There’s Deirdre Duggan and Howard Cohen, a brace in their 60s who met as two shy assemblage decades ago, set up by the bartender during a dice game. They eloped beneath than a year afterwards affair at Flats, and not added than 20 account afterwards the chat starts, their bells song, Frank Sinatra’s “Summer Wind”, comes on over the speakers. There’s no jukebox and the bar aback on assignment had no abstraction it was their song, so the actuality it’s arena feels like fate. Howard, in shock, swears up and bottomward they didn’t ask anyone to comedy the song for them, and they bethink about eloping to the islands. They appearance me a account of their then-infant twins — now 17 and chief on which bizarre New England colleges they’d like to appear — in the accoutrements of one of the owners the summer afore 9/11.

Carolina Ramirez lives bottomward the block and blew off assignment to accord her admired watering aperture a able accelerate off. The abandoned TV is set to Fox, and as a bartering comes on for tonight’s Apple Series d amid the Red Sox and Dodgers, she shouts, “I fucking abhorrence the Red Sox but I consistently fucking adulation Boston people.” She already anachronous a Red Sox fan, but they bankrupt up anon afterwards the 2003 ALCS.

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Anita, additionally still active in the neighborhood, got laid off this anniversary and came appropriate to the bar afterwards to get her accepted adjustment of tortilla soup and a margarita. Then she came the aing day, and the next. Addition margarita appears and she swears she didn’t adjustment it, but she drinks it happily, anyway. There’s the one middle-aged guy who aloof wants to acknowledge the abode afterwards talking to anyone, downing two quick margaritas on the rocks afore branch out into the storm again.

Because we’re at an continued adieu affair for a bar, there’s a blurred compassionate that annihilation absolutely matters. The chat and the $4 beers are the absolute focus. The added you talk, the added you don’t accept to anticipate about the acrimonious acumen you’re absolutely there, that a admired abode like this can aloof be taken abroad from you.

Flats was blatant if you admired it, broken-down if you didn’t. It was the best animating blazon of august dive, with beer company-branded flags draped blithely from the beam like neon clotheslines. Framed photos of Elvis, old beer ads, and Christmas lights took Flats to the aing level. In one corner, a bedraggled applique commemorating Sammy Sosa’s 66th home run in 1998 afraid on the wall. No absolute acumen why.

Everyone actuality was already a 20-something from the adjacency who accepted this abode in their own way, who fabricated pilgrimages whenever they had $20 to absorb and a night free. But they’re not that age anymore. They accept homes instead of awkward apartments.

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In the aforementioned way you’d bethink about the breadth about your admired amphitheater or park, there’s allocution of how the adjacency has afflicted for the bigger or worse. In the aforementioned way you’d accuse about a GM authoritative mistakes, assemblage beef about how the guys in allegation ability accept been able to save the abode if alone they’d fabricated some changes earlier. The landlord, that faceless villain, is like the apathetic aggregation owners accommodating to booty a association abroad from everyone. One of the owners is activity about table to table and cogent bodies to “Talk, drink, but don’t text,” evoking the old bouncer in any action that is aghast in adolescent admirers for not advantageous absorption to every moment of a game. Flats is a reminder, like sports and the blow of life, that alike the things that prove to be the best distractions can be taken abroad from you afterwards warning.

And because anybody feels the aforementioned admiration for much-needed escapism, bonds are basic alike added rapidly than they would amid accidental bodies acquaint up at any ol’ bar. Bodies are arresting up conversations with anniversary added in the aforementioned way they would with addition who lended a duke by casual your banknote bottomward the row to the CrackerJack vendor. Suddenly you alpha talking — about area your kids go to school, and the best genitalia of a contempo vacation, and the affliction genitalia of your bang-up — and for a few hours you’re best accompany artlessly because you’re on the aforementioned side.

There’s the aforementioned ebb and breeze of esplanade chat at Flats, too. You apperceive what I’m talking about if you’ve anytime befriended bisected a row while watching a game. Aing your eyes and you can about feel it happening. Article happens to draw the place’s absorption — today that happens to be bristles bashed men singing and cloudburst added tequila into the margarita mixer, but it could calmly be a hit off the Green Monster or a blatant bifold comedy — and as anon as it’s over you go appropriate aback to the rhythms of accepting to apperceive bodies and adequate into the company.

Bars and sports are ameliorative in all sorts of ways, but the chat is my outlet. For addition not absolutely accessible to accessible the aperture to therapy, I get a lot out of talking and administration and bedlam with strangers.

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When there’s a bound end to a connection, a agreement that you about absolutely won’t see these bodies again, the way you can acquaint belief and what you’ll say is freeing. Maybe annihilation awkward or appalling, the banned of active in association still apply, but there’s a pop to anecdotes that are commonly calibrated to aural an inch of their lives aback told anywhere else. The agitation about actuality advised for what comes out of your aperture aback amid accompany is gone. Aback you alive your activity annoying that one aberrant argument or impaired animadversion could accompany your beatitude to a halt, it’s liberating to apperceive you can be yourself.

In the bend of Flats, a man in an Uncle Sam apparel dances with a accumulation of friends. He’s not alike adulatory Halloween, he’s aloof dressed that way. A bashed Uncle Sam is absolutely not activity to catechism your ability as a activity animal actuality or beam at you for bottomward up and adage article stupid. He’s a tequila-drunk man in an Uncle Sam suit.

The disagreements that appear during bar babble are actuality magically glossed over, too. At one point 47-year-old Martin Kynastan, a Londoner nursing a rugby abrasion that keeps him from adopting his easily over his head, proclaims he’s all for Brexit because he knows his job will be safe afterwards the alteration out of the EU. He and his wife’s aboriginal date was at Flats, so instead of agreeable him about politics, anybody aloof ignores the statement. There’s alone so abundant time left, alone so abundant time to acknowledge this abode and this feeling, so let’s allocution about England’s rugby aggregation instead. The amount of befitting things ablaze today seems at the beginning of everyone’s apperception — how cartel you try to bore the blind of ameliorative reinvigoration in the air?

I abduction this activity a few times a year, at most, and it’s consistently tucked abroad in a amphitheater bench somewhere. I came to say goodbye to a dive bar and got the abruptness of feeling, for once, that different artlessness afterwards actuality surrounding by bags of people. Alike admitting I’ll be beddy-bye beggared and burst for a brace added canicule afterwards this, I can feel my apperception actuality askance aback calm aloof abundant to get me through the aftermost bit of this accurate stretch.

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There are added bars, ones I go to far added generally than this one. Ones that are added special, area I’ve fabricated bigger accompany with the regulars. Sometimes it’s nice to apperceive absolutely what aperture you allegation to airing through to feel like you’re accept — Gate E at Fenway appropriate off of Lansdowne, the New England bar in the East Village, your boyfriend’s apartment, your bounded soccer pub area you can about accept bisected the accents — but sometimes it’s alike bigger to be surprised.

Flats closing doesn’t beggarly that activity will be absurd to again. But it is a admonition that for every Fenway that will be there for the accountable future, accessible to booty you in again, there are havens that can be taken from you at any moment. Seasons end, teams lose, and you accept to delay until aing year to abduction that absolute affection again. Inherently alive acceptable things don’t aftermost doesn’t accomplish it any easier aback they’re gone. Especially when, while you delay to acquisition that activity again, there are so abounding awful, adverse moments that you allegation aberration from.

Game 4 of the Apple Series will alpha in a few hours, and if it’s an 18-inning almanac breaker again, the bar will be bankrupt by the time the acceptable run crosses the plate. There will be bodies in the stands arresting up accidental conversations amid innings, and award affiliated booze for a few hours while they abstain the accent and astriction acquired by what’s accident in the world, or in their lives.

An aflame Dodgers fan at Flats, absolutely decked out in an LA hat, jacket, and shirt, after-effects goodbye to Nancy the bartender, now in her sixth hour of that 17-hour slog. “I’m branch out but ability be aback later!” the fan yells, “we can appear aback for banquet and the game!” Nancy tells her they ability not alike be accessible by the time she returns, they could aing at any time that night if the booze runs out — the shelves abounding of Herradura tequila are elimination fast and they’ve been out of bar napkins for three canicule now. Alike the best acceptable goodbyes can be cut short, and alike the best well-played seasons can end in misery. The best able comforts sometimes go abroad afore they’re done absolutely healing you.

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Baseball will be aback aing year. Flats won’t, but for a day they were intertwined in an abrupt way, and it fabricated all the difference. Annihilation is in our control, but sometimes throwing your easily up and adage “nothing matters” feels good. I’ll acquisition addition aperture to go through to acquisition that atmosphere afore April, I’m about abiding of it. But in case I don’t, the Red Sox will aces things up afresh in the bounce and Fenway will be there with them. I apperceive that, at least.

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